Update from GentleDoe

Update: Unfortunately, it has been some time since I have been able to get into the chat room at Ustream. I can listen to the broadcast most of the time.

Personal Update: I have been quite sick with a cold or some kind of bug. I returned after my Friday morning freezing, misting rain hour and a half wait for social security office to open. Social security messed up and sent my dad's social security to my sister's account so I had to go to the local office. It's supposed to be traced. In the meantime I don't have any money to cover dad's $2800 bill for the month of January at Summer's Landing. Already talked to Summer's Landing about the social security mess up.

Hearing Update:
Parents guardian ad Litem emailed me that the hearing may be rescheduled but I need to call to find out for sure. At this time the hearing is scheduled for this Thursday, January 14th at 1 PM. This is a hearing requested by my sister's lawyer claiming she was denied due process as she didn't know about the previous hearings on Sept. 3rd and 10th of 2015! She knew that I had been made payee by the court since she had not paid any of the bills she had been ordered to pay for my parents (She told her lawyer and he put it in the request for a new hearing, that I had squandered over $100,000 and so I should not be the payee for my parents.)

The guardian ad Litem also suggested I write up another care plan for my parents to return home.

I'm praying that I can get over this fever and get all of this congestion from my chest before I have to fly down to SC. I had everything arranged but this cold bug or whatever I can barely do anything. Coughing, I sound like Typhoid Mary passing along the germs of death.

Please keep me in prayer. I want my parents to be home with me with in home care. If my sister isn't going to pay my dads bills with his money, someone else should be appointed to get his money and pay his bills for him.

I just want this mess over with, my parents to be able to return to their home, I want to be with them the rest of their lives and lastly, I want my house back!

Oh, please pray about a lawyer for me. My lawyer has not responded to any emails, texts or phone calls since he was paid on September 28th of 2015! I hired him to help me apply for guardianship/conservator of both parents since they were removed from the house my parents allowed my sister to live in. I don't mind fighting alone when I know what and how to fight. This is a fight for life or death for my parents and I believe for myself as well. I have no home since my sister was allowed to take my house that I did buy and paid for it in full. I need to be with my parents to help care for them. I'm currently trying to pay rent of $800 a month, buy food for myself, pay transportation expenses, pay storage fees and to care of all the things for my parents with only a little over $600. My sister knew I could not pay full rent and all the other life bills with my full benefits of $748 a month. Right now my landlord is working with me to catch up on my rent and they are also very kind to allow my birds to be with me. My parents, my birds, my bunny girls and my home are the most important things in my life and all I have to live for. Please pray for this to soon work out for my parents and me. I don't know how much longer they can hang in there.

I hope this will indeed be a happy and blessed new year for all the VacaFamily and Vriends!

<3 you (hoot)!
GentleDoe/Jan

Update: 2015 was a difficult year for me and my parents. I finally got everything taken care of to be the "payee" for my parents with Social Security. I now have both parents with new bank accounts strictly for their social security payments. The assisted living home charges more each month than my parents and I get all together. So I am trying to get my father's military and state retirement changed to me so that I can pay his bills. I've also got my mother her Medicare Part B reinstated from the Social Security/Medicare mix up.

I'm still trying to get the help for myself. I've finally got Medicaid again but they claim I get too much money to pay for prescriptions! I'm not getting but a little over $600 a month, my rent is $800 a month which means I am short by $200 if I use 100% of my social security check to pay the monthly rent. So how I can be getting too much money is beyond me. Oh, and that doesn't include me needing a few groceries to sustain myself! Yes, I guess I do get too much! lol Certainly wouldn't want to be able to pay the rent and eat! lol Thankfully my landlord has been very understanding in my ability to pay my rent and allowing me to keep the birds with me. With January, I am now 3 months behind in my rent and still seeking rent assistance.

Just before Christmas, my parents' guardian ad litem called me. She is very positive about my parents being with me and getting them back home. I'm planning on calling her tomorrow about the upcoming hearing on Thursday, January 14th.

Oh, pray that I can get a good bird sitter before I have to leave. One that is affordable and can and will care for them as they need. If I can get someone I feel confidant I will try to be able to stay longer to get things done while I am in SC and spend more time with my parents. They want me to be with them so much and I want to be with them but it is very difficult trying to take care of them and everything from up here.

Please pray for this hearing on Thursday, January 14th. I want to get everything so that I can take care of my parents with a little in home help. Please pray that my sister will stop all of this, if only for my parents. She knows I haven't stolen money from my parents and because she took my house she has caused me so many problems. I now have rent beyond what I get each month and no money for groceries which I would not be in this financial "hell" if not for my sister taking my house. I could be getting by if I were still in my own home or allowed to live in my parents' house.

I'm still trying to get a job to help me to be able to sustain myself, my avian/bunny family and my parents. I'm not getting my hopes up though each time I have something promising come up it falls through. I know God will help me, perhaps I have too much on my plate right now to work anyway but somehow you have to have money to live even if you don't have much.

I've always wanted to be there for my parents. I purchased my house so that when my parents were gone I would have a home of my own so that I would not have to worry about finding a place for me and my birds to live, or being at the mercy of a landlord. My parents should have their money to take care of their needs and my sister is keeping all of the money coming into my father's bank account and refusing to pay any money on my father's bills. I now have a $1500 VA medical bill for my father which is due on the 5th I think. I don't understand how my sister can get away with not paying my father's bills as his Power of Attorney. I thought being the POA for someone had some fiduciary responsibilities. I've been told many, many times as my mother's POA I cannot spend her money for anything but her needs.

Thursday, January 14th is to be the next hearing for my parents. Please pray that I can work everything out to be down there. I still have to schedule my flight and trying to find a bird sitter. Also, I'm not sure how long I can stay without a place to stay besides the hotel. Cheapest hotel costs about $100 a night. Also, my sister may be at this hearing, so please keep me and my family in special prayer. I'm thinking positive and feel that God will help me but I never count my chickens before they hatch.

Mom and dad are trying to hang in there but it is difficult for them. I want them to be able to go home or at least be with me with proper care. I want them to be as happy as they can be for the remainder of their lives. I can't bear thinking of them dying so miserable and begging me to get them and bring them home with me.

Thank you all for reading my rambling updates and for the prayers and good thoughts. They are such a blessing and they are making a difference. It is knowing that I have the love and support/prayer of my VacaFamily and friends to help me keep going. I am alone with only my birds and no family to be with me or be there for a little support. Mom, dad and I talk and try to encourage each other every day. But there is nothing like having just a little hug or squeeze of the hand for a little support.

Hope everyone has a very happy and blessed new year!

Love you all,

It is days before Thanksgiving and I still do not have a date for the hearing. Ms McDaniel with SC Department of Social Services Adult Protection is telling me once again my parents are getting worse and they will not recommend that they be allowed to be with me. They now say they require round-the-clock care. My father is not doing well, and I fear he will not improve as long as he and my mother are confined to the home. They are not allowed to leave the facility even to get their hair cut. Mom has not been outside anywhere since June! They have no mental stimulation and no family or friends to be there for them. No wonder they are getting worse! Only having one room to call yours (and then it still isn't yours because people can come in and take things at anytime). They complain about the food not being good or enough to eat. My dad cries to be with me and every time I talk to mom she is asking me when can I get her and bring her here with me. It makes me mad to be powerless to be able to be with or help my parents and the state of SC have control over their care and I have no say at all!

A couple weeks ago now my father had a seizure and eventually was taken to the VA hospital emergency room. He had not felt well the night before. The next morning he still wasn't feeling well or acting normally. The staff there told my mother to just let him sleep that morning. My mother was worried about my dad and called me. The staff at Summer's Landing finally called for an ambulance to take my dad to the ER at noon while I was on the phone! It concerns/worries me that DSS is not going to recommend I get to take my parents and are going to recommend they stay there. They ignore my mother and if I hadn't been on the phone insisting I talk with someone, I think they would have just let my dad die without even checking on him. How can that be better than dad being home with in-home help with me? I am trying to get some help to return to SC and be with my parents (I do not care where as long as I can be with my parents and see to their care!). I cannot just get an apartment as everyone says, I no longer have Section 8 assistance and no longer have my Medicaid which brings my Social Security check down to a little over $600 a month!). Right now my landlord is understanding my situation and working with me to allow me and my birds a place to stay. I cannot give up the only family I have left to me, my birds.

Also, I need to be there with my parents and also have dad's POA or other legal guardianship to be able to get information about his health from doctors and the VA. Also, I need to be able to talk to his doctors and help with his medical needs. I shouldn't just be the person to send the bill to be paid.

I'm also concerned with the lack of response to my calls and e-mails to my lawyer. I'm sending him a typed letter through the post office to find out if he is still my lawyer and if not I would like a refund of any unused money as well as an accounting of the money I have paid him. He has not filed for guardian/conservatorship for both my parents yet!

Other lawyer news, is I have retained a lawyer to help me get my house back. Please pray that he can get it back for me soon. He said it could take about a year or more. Also, he doesn't seem to want to ask for damages for wrongfully taking my house. My sister knew I was only getting a small social security check but I could manage with my home bills. Without my house my social security check does not even cover rent for a decent apartment in a safe neighborhood much less all of the other necessary living expenses, such as food, clothing and utilities. I think I should be compensated! My sister even stated to her lawyer it is my house and would not let me take my parents to their home when DSS said I could take them home if I had a place.

Please pray for me to get some help. Maryland is worse than SC about helping someone with a disability especially when that person has no family or friends to help them. I qualify for Medicaid, food stamps and housing assistance (except my sister has ruined that for me) with Section 8..

My sister still has ddad's Power of Attorney and so access to his money and everything else in dad's name. I do not understand why the court doesn't revoke the POA since she is not paying for my father's staying at the assisted living home or for his medicine or other needed items. I'm still waiting to here from Social Security about my being made "payee" by the court. Social Security has to approve my being "payee" for both parents.

I do not know what I am going to do if I am denied my parents. I really don't think I can just be the bill payer with no say as to what happens with them. Also, I just don't know how I can be a long-distance loving telephone daughter. It breaks my heart to talk to them. They always ask me when am I going to get them out of there and bring them home. It breaks my heart to not be able to give them the hope that they so need and deserve. I have no family to go to or help and my little social security check only keeps us afloat in my own home. I don't want my parents to die while I have no home of my own. I need somewhere as well as somebird at least to cling to. I can't help but wonder how I am going to survive. There lawsuits take forever and I don't even have a home to wait and fight in. I'm trying not to give up home myself but it is hard. I feel like my parents I just want to die in my own home. I also need to be in my own home to grieve when that time comes.

Please forgive this not so happy or thankful update for this Thanksgiving time. Perhaps that is why my prayers still are unanswered. I want to give my parents hope but has been 5 months with little if any progress and now DSS is saying now my parents are worse so now they can't release them to me! My parents never wanted to be in a home other than their own and I never wanted my parents to be place in a home and never wanted the state to take over my parents and leave me with nothing but bills!. Please pray for me and my parents and the people who are controlling our lives. Please make sure this doesn't happen to your family and find a way to help stop it from happening to others. This is a horrible situation to be going through at any age but no one my parents age should have to go through this "He**." My parents worked hard to save their money for their old age and for my sister and I AFTER they past away. Now they don't have access to their own money nor can they use their money for their needs or wants and my sister has all of my father's money and is using it for her own living expenses and whatever else.

I'm sorry for this long rambling update. Lately I have a hard time not writing rambling letters. I hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving. Its hard for me as this will be the first Thanksgiving I haven't been with my parents. Last year mom and I had Thanksgiving without dad but we had each other. As long as your family is alive you should be together and it kills me that anyone can keep me and my parents from being together at least for the holidays.

My <3 and Happy Thanksgiving to all my VacaVriends!

GentleDoe/Jan

Once again I am just pouring my heart out. I'm so tired I want to throw in the towel but I can't I don't have a home to go to nor anyone to be with. My parents, birds and hopefully bunnies are all I have left of my life.

My parents and I are very depressed. It is now November 1st and it will not be long until the holidays. I was hoping to have my parents with me before the holiday season. I can't imagine spending the holidays in that home, Summer's Landing.

I've been told by my parents' Department of Social Services caseworker that there will be another hearing soon. I'm trying to find out exactly when it will be so that I can make my arrangements.

My sister is not paying my parents bills including my father's bills which she is his POA. I was granted "payee" status by the Richland County Family Court in Columbia but have yet to get the "official" stamped document to make Social Security happy. So while I am the "payee" I have no funds coming in from either parent's social security. My sister has a Pro bono lawyer and they are saying I've scoundereded over $100,000 so I should not be made "payee." My sister continues to get my dad's monthly income from his military and state retirement as well as his social security! The state is doing nothing to stop it. They are looking to me to pay the bills. I'm paying most of the money for my father. This is "elder abuse" at least of their funds but the state does nothing. If I am not fit to be "payee" then why does my sister not pay the bills for my parents? I've paid $5,500 of an $8,100 bill to Summer's Landing. I only had a few days to get them their money or they were going to remove my parents.

I've had to hire an attorney to get my home back. He sounds like he is a real mover and shaker but so have almost all the lawyers I've talked to. Or I have talked with honest lawyers who basically said that I didn't have enough money to do anything so they wouldn't talk with me further.. My sister has a Pro bono lawyer but I cannot get a Pro bono lawyer. I'm constantly being threatened about using any money.

I'm now trying to get by on $600 a month. I've talked with my landlord and he understands my situation and is trying to work with me. I'm only spending money on my parents' bills and my food and paying for storage fees for my mother's and my things. I was getting $748 but because of all of this I've lost my Medicaid which paid my Medicare premium. I can't afford my medication as it is expensive, I had to get my cardiologist to get the insurance company to pay for it. I've also lost my $70 in food stamps. My sister made sure that I would not be able to get Section 8 to help with rent which is $800 a month.

I don't know how much longer I can keep myself and birds in a place to live or continue this battle to help my parents. I have no family who will help and my friends are far away or have already past on. As far as my parents DSS has said if I had a suitable place (house) and can provide for their care I could have my parents. My sister refuses to let my parents back in their home with me and additional in-home care for my parents. I really don't know what I can do. I've been trying to get work from home jobs but with everything going on with my trying to look after my parents, my sister's continual allegations against me & everything is taking its toll on my health.

If the state of South Carolina is going to let my sister take everything my parents worked for and not make her care for them and leave my parents in Summer's Landing or God forbid a worse place, I would just as soon not be around to see it. It is killing my parents and me. It is hard to see anyone die but this is keeping my parents and me away from each other. I'm concerned about how much time they have left and I should be able to be with my parents, there is no proof of my doing anything to harm my parents. Once God takes my parents I will never get to talk to them or spend time with them again on this earth. They are the only family I have. I do not want my parents to die all alone and unhappy with no one there with them that truly loves them. I feel like I am dying here all alone except for my birds. I'm trying to find a place for them if I can't keep them. I don't know how the state, my sister or anyone can be allowed to do this to another human being.

GentleDoe/Jan

My sister is now able to call my parents, I just found this out when my mother called me yesterday, Saturday. She called my parents Friday night and has my parents upset. My mother is worried that my sister will be able to visit them as well. I've e-mailed my lawyer and the DSS caseworker to find out more information: Is it just telephone privileges or can she visit (and possibly take my dad/parents out of the facility)? I'm concerned because that is how she was able to get dad's Power of Attorney (POA) in the first place.

DSS had said that if I could get my house or another house or even get my parents' house, I would be allowed to take my parents. My sister with my father's POA is refusing me my house or to allow me to fix up my parents' home for them to live with additional in-home help.

My sister is doing everything to make sure I cannot get my parents or be able to stay with them. She fears I will get a little money before she gets it all.

I've found out the POA can be revoked. My dad can revoke it if he's determined to be competent to make his own decisions. He and my mother have been through "H - L L." They are under DSS's protective custody as vulnerable adults. I thought since my sister has been getting all of my dad's money and defying the order to pay for my parents stay at Summer's Landing that that would result in my getting the status of "payee" and the money to pay the bills for my parents stay there. I was supposed to get that second court order for payee status but Social Security wanted to talk to me. I asked could I have the order faxed to Social Security here and I talk to them but have yet to get an answer.

Because I am not living in SC I cannot get help from SC and I cannot get any of my benefits here in MD until I get released from SC and declare MD my home. SC DSS refuses to let my parents come to MD to live with me. I have arrangements from before my mother was taken to SC by a cousin. I can get VA assistance for both parents but I can't get them here to MD and I have no place to live in SC. I'm a woman without a state or country. It seems like there is no help wherever I turn.

I have a few requests:
I need to raise money to help with legal fees. I have the attorney to help me get my parents and I need an attorney to help me get my house. I don't have the funds needed. I've had to spend money going to SC for the merit hearings (air fare, motel and cab fare).

Does anyone know how to raise money online or any other way? I've learned of these websites such as GiveForward that you can raise money but know nothing about them nor have I found telephone numbers to talk to anyone. If any of the VacaChatters know how the online fundraising sites work, please contact me. (jan.sc.05@gmail.com)

My rent is more than my Social Security because of my sister getting my mail. I have no other place to go and still keep my birds. They and my 2 bunny girls are my only family. now.. My landlord has been wonderful to allow me to keep my birds here. I need to get my mother's and my things out of PODS storage as it is costing a fortune (at least I will be able to sell my things instead of just completely losing them and still owing PODS). Also, I have had to put these expenses of traveling to SC for these merit hearings on my credit card which my sister is using against me.

Prayer Requests:
1. An affordable living place where I can keep my birds with me. It is horrible not to have my parents before the Lord takes them but my birds and two bunny girls are all I have now. I really don't have anything to live for if I don't have my parents and if I lose my bird/bunny family, I have nothing. I have no human family but my parents who love me and will help me. I'm trying to chronicle the events of my life since my father's stroke and hope that somehow it can help prevent this from happening to anyone ever again.

I'm ashamed of my cousins. Three of them live within an hour of where I am. Two live alone in their respective homes. One of those two even has a second home in SC. None will call, much less try to help me. I'm saddened and wondering how I am going to survive myself.

2. Pray that my sister will be stopped from continuing with her lies and these lawsuits. I just want my parents, bird/bunny family and myself to be able to have a place to live in peace.

3. Pray that I can get my parents soon as time is passing by for all of us. They are in their eighties. My mother had me later in life. My sister is so afraid that she has to continue to make allegations against me stealing/squandering my parents money. She has been living on their money for years and now that she has taken my house I do need money for rent and other things that I would not have to worry about had she left me with my house. My parents and I knew I could make it with my house being paid off, all I needed to do was be able to pay property tax and keep it up.

Please forgive my once again rambling pouring out of my heart. I've never been so afraid in my life nor wondered how I was going to live. Thank you all for your prayers and any advice or helpful suggestions are much appreciated. I don't sleep well and now I'm having a hard time eating. I think it is depression making me no longer want food and having a hard time eating when I am hungry. Thank you all for your love.