Zorro Gets Lost at the Fair
2016/09/11
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"Zorro, if you don't stop bouncing, I'm pulling this car over right now!
You're making it hard to stay on the road." "I'm sorry, Dude. I'm just so excited. You know how much I love going to the fair with you. Just thinking about all the food and the rides and the food and the prizes and the food and the contests and the fo…" "Okay, Zorro, I get it. You like the fair and the food. But could you please calm down? You making me nervous to drive and Mary is getting a little bit of motion sickness from all the movement of the car. You want her to be able to ride on the rides with you, don't you?" "I'll try. Honest I will. Are we there yet?" "Zorro! Zip it!" Zorro sat back and tried very hard to restrain his excitement for the remainder of the drive. He looked over at Freddy and said, "Aren't you excited, Fred?" Freddy blinked at him and said, "Zorro, my man, you forget that most of my life has been spent on the fair circuit. Believe me, once you've seen a couple of fairs, they get old REALLY fast." Finally, they arrrived at the fair. Zorro wanted to run to the food vendors immediately. The Dude worked hard to hold him back. "Zorro! Wait for the rest of us. The food's not going anywhere." Zorro spotted a corn dog vendor just to their right. He headed that way. "I'll just be right over here, Dude. Hold on." He headed to the vendor and made his purchases. He turned to the Dude and said, "Dude! Look at this! They've got fried cheese on a stick with a cheese sauce. Dude? DUDE! DUDE!! Where are you???" Zorro looked all around here. He didn't see The Dude, Dudette or Freddy anywhere. He hollered, "… … "Dude? Dude!? Where are you, Dude?" There was no response. "Gasp!" sighed Zorro, "what shall I do?" As he thought, an excited crowd began to push Zorro along in their direction. "What the heck?!" yelled Zorro. "I need to find my Dude not head to wherever." But the crowd kept pushing and soon Zorro found himself in the middle of a huge ring. Giant oxen were pulling large sleds—right at him. He was frozen like he was stuck in time. "I'd better think quick," Zorro thought. "Well, I know that elephants are afraid of mice, I wonder whether oxen are?" Zorro took a deep breath, jumped out of the crowd toward the huge animals, and said, "BOO!!" Then he closed his eyes. Then he opened one just a crack to see what all the noise was and he saw… the oxen were running as fast as they could out of the arena dragging their sleds behind them. As they left the arena, they knocked over a couple of food carts. Corn dogs, fried dill pickles, fried twinkies, fried okra, and snow cones were flying everywhere. Zorro wasn't going to pass up this opportunity. He saw a couple of empty bags. He grabbed them and started filling them with goodies. Just then… he spotted a pile of brownish lumps scattered on the ground. "Could it be?" he wondered. Upon closer inspection, he cried "it IS! It IS! It's deep fried Nutella! The Dude loves these, and will be unable to resist them. So I shall leave a trail of them that he can follow so that he can find me." So Zorro gathered all the Nutella lumps he could carry, and began dropping them at intervals. However, with the hot sun beating down, it was a race against time. Just as he was about the drop the last few buttery chunks of Nutella, he… realized they were melting. "Oh, great!" he thought, "puddles for tracking." He decided to create a scene thinking that surely the Dude would realize it was him. He saw a clown on stilts and decided to push him over and that would surely cause a situation, and it did. Just as he had done that, he saw another opportunity—an elderly lady escorting her 6 grandchildren to the fair. Zorro ran in front of the lady and jumped up and down squeaking. Immediately the woman started screaming and trying to step on Zorro, while half the children tried to pick up the sticky candy, and the other half tried to catch Zorro! Apparrently, Zorro's plan was successful, because just then, VacaDude ran up and… stumbled and kicked Zorro into the path of a fair worker blowing trash out of the walkway. Stumbling, bumbling and tumbling, Zorro vanished! When he came to rest, he found himself inside a tent. There were lot of people flashing one dollar bills hooting and hollering, crowding the front of the tent. "Wow!" said Zorro, "this must be the biggest food line at the fair! Am I in luck!!" But before Zorro could reach the front of the "food" line, he heard "Zorro! Zorro! Are you in here?" It was Freddy. Zorro spied his buddy and said, "I'm right here, Freddy, I'm almost to the front of the food line, I'll be right with you." "No!". Freddy ran to Zorro, grabbed him by the tail, and ran out of the tent with Zorro in tow. "Hey, whats going on?!" Zorro was not happy. "Theres some great food over here and the Dude is going to get you some." Freddy led Zorro to the Dude who was standing in the middle of lots of food carts. He told Zorro to make his pick. Zorro looked around. He saw Fried Cheesecake, Chocolate Dipped Bacon, Pig on a Stick and so many other foods it made his head spin. He just couldn't decide. "Dude, I want some of EVERYthing!" As Zorro stuffed his mouth and gobbled as fast as he could, suddenly he stopped and turn an ear upwards. "What's that sound?!? It's that evil blower-thingie, and it's getting closer! The last time I encountered it, it blew me off in some random direction. Help me, Freddy—we've got to hide!" Freddy replied "no, wait! Look!" As they looked up, they saw the blower slowly descending to the ground--and holding onto it was the Dude! Like some kind of janitorial Mary Poppins, he and the machine gently guided down amid a cloud of dust and hot dog wrappers to a soft and blustery landing in front of them. "Hey Gutz," he yelled. Zorro saw the hot dog wrappers and yelled, "Yay!! More food!" but then realized they were only the wrappersl Then the Dude said, "Surprise! I got… "a prize! This wrapper says I get a prize!" "What kind of prize? What did you win? More food?" yelled Zorro excitedly. "No, said the Dude -- I got tickets to a special art exhibit!" Zorro sort of lost interest since the prize wasn't food, but Mary was interested, and, to everyone's surprise, so was Freddie. Since all anyone had done so far was eat and get lost, they set out to see some exhibits. To Zorro's surprise, he actually enjoyed some of the exhibits, especially the one of landscape photographs where the scenery was made out of food. 6:57 PMWhat made the more mundane (at least in his eyes) exhibits tolerable is that each one was surrounded by food carts. He could sneak out of the exhibit while The Dude, Dudette and Freddy "Oooooohed and Ahhhhhed" over everything and munch to his heart's content. 6:57 PMHe tried to make sure that he tasted every food offered at the fair. On the ride home, Zorro slumped in his car booster seat (specially made for him to fit his size) in a food coma. His belly was twice its normal size. Fred turned to him and said, "So, Zorro, that's the last fair for this season. Are you sorry to see it end?" Zorro groaned and said, "Freddy, I'm so full, I don't think I'll have to eat again for 6 months." Freddy laughed and said, "Yeah, you did eat an awful lot today. I didn't know where you were putting it all." The Dude laughed from the front seat and said, "Zorro, you ate enough today to last a normal mouse about 5 years. I think you would have set a world record if they had competitive eating contests for rodents." Zorro drifted off into his food coma again, barely registering the passage of the scenery. When they arrive home, The Dude picked him up and carried him into the house. Zorro hardly stirred. Dude tucked him into his little bed and covered him up. As he tiptoed out of the room, The Dude said to the Dudette, "I don't imagine we'll see or hear from him for days. Let's go watch a movie." They settled in on the couch to watch a wonderful 24 hour festival of old silent movies and early talkies. About 15 minutes into the second movie, they heard a commotion in the kitchen. John went to check it out. Zorro stood there in the open refrigerator, his cheeks stuffed full of food. He turned to the Dude and said, "Did you know you're almost out of cheese and olives and almost everything else you have is that nasty low carb, low calorie, low taste health food? Dude, you gotta go shopping. I could starve to death is this house!" The End |
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| Today's Writers (in order of appearance) | ||
| DotRot Mr. Sharoot (Mike) Sharoot ChatterChopz VacaDude TheDaddyBird BugGirl |
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