The Expansion
2016/06/15
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"Vinky? What's 7 times 14?" "It's 98. Why?" "Oh, no real reason. Just wondering." Vobble scribbled furiously on the paper he had pilfered from the Dude's office. "Vinky? What's 20 times 18?" "360. Why?" "Oh, it's no big deal." He went back to scribbling. "Vinky? What's 98 plus 360?" "Vobble, it's 458. What the heck are you doing??" "I'm almost done. I'm designing the expansion for the owl box. See? Look here. We each have our own space complete with mini pantry and a veranda. And here's the main pantry with shelves to make it easy to rotate our stock. And here's the expanded main living area and the deck with our new brick BBQ pit. What do you think?" "Vobble, this is really nice but what about the cost? And what about city and county permits? And did you get the Dude's permission? And who's gonna do the work? Do you have a contractor in mind?" "Don't worry, Vinky. I've got it all under control. I have a plan. I'm gonna… take some courses in home design and construction, plumbing, heating, air conditioning, kitchens and bathrooms… "What?" said Vinky. "We will be 203 by the time you hammer in the very first nail!" "Oh not to worry. We get to stay up all night studying!" "What," she cried, "we have to sleep all day so there are still not enough hours in the day!" "Oh, pish posh! Nosh! You worry about every tiny detail." Just then Zorro poked his head in the owl box door. "What's up?" "Oh my goodness, Vobble has gone mad!" Vinky was visibly upset. "Mad at what?" Zorro looked mildly intrigued. "I mean crazy mad! He thinks he's going to totally remodel and expand the owl box. I have all I can do just to keep this place clean at the size we have. This just won’t work. Please talk some sense into my brother, Zorro!" "Er, ah, well okay… Hey, Vobble…" "Are you nuts? You can't do a job this big without some help. I've got a cousin named Zeal who's a contractor. I can get him cheap." Vobble said, "Now you're talking." Vinky screamed, "Zorro, that is NOT what I meant!" Zorro continued, "Zeal's wife isn't much of a cook. I think you can get him to do the job if you just feed him good." Vobble said, "Great idea. I'll call CC." Vobble just decided to ignore all the naysayers and continue with his architectural design for the box. He said, "We have to have more room. We don't even have enough room to wingersize indoors—we always have to go outside. I also met a friend of Dude's who is a wood carver and he said he would build me an owl weathervane to put up top. Now doesn't that sound lovely?" "Well," said Zorro, "I guess that would be interesting and fun to have, but I still don't see who you are going to get to build all the extra rooms you're planning. Have you thought of that?" "Of course I have, Zorro. I plan to lean on all of your friends and you are going to supervise the project. "I have contacted Jerry, Mighty Mouse, Mickey and Minnie, the Three Blind Mice and Topo Gigio. They will all be here in the morning when the Lowe's truck shows up. You better get some rest and dream of how you will lead the charge. Oh by the way, you need to let the Dude know." Zorro said, "The Three Blind Mice, huh? I guess they could paint." "Topo Gigio will stupidvise, while Mickey and Minnie arrange the design. Mighty Mouse of course will provide air support with beams and such. "And I, Zorro can cover ground engineering. Let's start with…" … clearing a space around the owlbox for construction!" Vobble flapped down to the ground excitedly. He picked up a twig in one talon and started making marks on the ground. "All those extra rooms are going to need more support than just one pole!" Vinky fluffed her feathers up indignantly. "We're not really going to let him go ahead with this nonsense, are we? It's good that he's being creative, but when the dude's neighbors had their roof fixed last spring the noise was terrible!" She decided that if nobody else was going to do anything about it, it was her responsibility. They were still living in the dude's garden, and she was pretty sure that they didn't have permission to expand the owlbox out. She flapped over to the house and tap tap tapped her beak on a window. "VacaDude!" she chirped. "Where are you? You have to come see what Vobble's doing!" The Dude said, "I am kinda busy with all my various and sundry projects, but I was eavesdropping and will just toss you out some forms for the proper authorities." "Well," Vinky said, "Ok, I guess," and she picked them up from the ground with her beak. She took them to a spot under a shady tree and started to fill them out. "Dear Sirs…" she wrote. "I need a permit to expand our owlbox. We have no need of an extra footprint or talon print. My idea is to build up and up and up into the sky like a tall Victorian antique owlbox, with filigrees and dormers, and porches, and and … Well, you get the idea. The sky's the limit according to your rules!!!! Wait till they all hear the news. I await your response eagerly. "There! This should do it! If its approved by the planning board, Vobble will never go for the idea of a Victorian mansion…and if it’s not approved…well, I win either way!" Vinky was quite satisfied with herself. She put a stamp on the envelope and air mailed it directly to the planning board's office. Vobble was on the phone with CC planning the catering menu for his building crew. He ordered Skyscraper sandwiches, Celery and Carrot logs with mortar dip, and Gingerbread House cookies. He said, "That menu sounds delicious CC. Now I need to get the supplies we need delivered from the hardware store so we can get started. Maybe the Dude can use his pickup to pick up some supplies. I'll go ask him." Vinky, Vobble and Zorro flew over to the Dude's workshop window and began pecking. The Dude had his earbuds in so it took a while to get his attention. When they finally did, the Dude said, "Sure, let's go. Give me your list and let's see what we can get to take home and get started." Vinky asked if they could make a stop at the woodcarver's shop to pick up the weathervane. They saw their weathervane on display in the shop and everyone gasped all at once. It was so very beautiful. They thanked the carver and headed home with the supplies and the owl weathervane. After they off-loaded the supplies it was kind of late to get started, so they decided to indulge in CC's treats. Oh, they were so hungry. When they were done… Vobble and the Dude fell asleep. Shortly after, the doorbell rang. The Dude jumped up and answered the door. "Can I help you?" he said to the two visitors. "Why, yes, you can," said one of the guests. "I am Leo, the head of the planning board, and this is Sara, the county tax assessor. We are here to evaluate your owl box construction plans and determine your new yearly tax rate." "What!!??!!," screamed the Dude. "My taxes are going up because… Sara, the tax assessor said, "Hang on. We, 'the county,' have determined that this is an improvement to the area, so in fact we are willing to give you a HUGE tax break." The dude sighed in relief. Vobble said, "Good! We don't have tacks—we have nails. They don't break." Just then the codes administrator came in and said, "All you need is to have a concrete foundation then all will be approved and you may proceed." The dude said, "Ok, so we pay for concrete instead of the taxes." Vobble said, "I have a friend in the business. This is gonna be great." Just then a limo and the mayor pulled up out front with the media and… VacaDude turned to Vobble. "A friend in the business, you say? And how did you meet this friend?" Vobble hopped his way off the porch and toward the garden. "He lives here! The town has moles, you know, and there's nobody else you should talk to about foundations! They know all there is to know!" He stopped and turned around. "Oh, right. I guess I should call all my friends so we can get started. VacaDude, can I borrow your phone?" The Dude turned to the assessor, the city planner and the administrator and asked, "So are we all agreed that we can proceed?" They all nodded, giving their consent. The codes administrator turned to the mayor and asked, "Your Honor, would you like to address the press about this? I think they'll all be thrilled with these plans. It's not often that we see an owl box that will be an authentic replica of the famous San Francisco Victorian Painted Ladies. It will be just fabulous!" Vobble said, "WHAT!!!!???? That's not what I planned at all!" The administrator said, "Well, that's what's on the plans that were submitted. You're committed now." Vobble stomped away, screaming, "VINKY!!! You can't hide! I will find you!!!" The press followed right behind him, filming it all. The mayor laughed and said, "Oh, this is so familiar! I once had an older sister, too." The Dude giggled and said, "I think I need to call the VacaSis. The End |
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| Today's Writers (in order of appearance) | ||
| DotRot elsalynda Sharoot ChatterChopz Linda4dg Mr. Sharoot (Mike) TheDaddyBird Wolfgirl |
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