"Ouch! That's HOT!!!" Zorro pulled his hand back quickly and stuck his finger in his mouth. "OOOOOh OOOOOh that hurt!" he hollered.

The Dude briefly looked up from his computer and said, "What did you do NOW, Zorro? Cut your finger slicing cheese or something?"

Zorro looked offended. He popped his finger out of his mouth and said, "Don't be ridiculous, Dude. Cheese canNOT hurt me. But … you never told me about fire being that hot or making metal so hot. I was trying to use one of your old lighters to solder some pieces of some old aluminum pans together and they got really hot and now I have a blister and it HURTS!!!!"

The Dude looked at Zorro and shook his head. "Zorro, my boy, what did you expect. Fire is hot. That's just what fire is. That's just it's nature. And when fire touches other things, it makes those other things hot. That's just simple physics."

Zorro looked even more offended. "Dude, I'm a mouse, not a physician or a physicist or a psychic or whatever you're talking about."

"So why are you trying to solder aluminum, Zorro. What are your plans this time?"

"Well, if you must know, it's all because of you. I saw what you wrote a couple of weeks ago for the VacaNews and it got me thinking. I've decided to make my own RoboMouse! I'm not quite strong enough to cut sheet metal and I don't know how to work a laser cutter or an acetylene torch, so I thought aluminum would work well and you had all those old used aluminum cake and pie pans that you've been saving for God only knows how long and God only know for what purpose, so I decided to put them to some practical use. Now I just need to solder them without burning all my fur off!"

The Dude shook his head and said …

"Uh, Zorro, those pans were Mary's, not mine. Don't you remember she made you that luscious cheesecake in one once?" Zorro looked off dreamily remembering the taste of that cheesecake, but he was soon brought back to reality as Dude continued, "I don't envy you when she finds out you took them for some crazy scheme..."

Offended, that the Dude had the nerve to call one of HIS schemes crazy, Zorro snapped back, "It's NOT crazy... I CAN build a robot... you just wait and see! And I'll get help from some of my REAL friends!" and with that Zorro stomped out, leaving the Dude chuckling and shaking his head.

Zorro set off for …

the cellar to find some empty soda and beer cans that he could use. He also found a string of Christmas lights that he thought would make great eyes and maybe even a robot heart.

All those soda cans made him thirsty and hungry. He headed to the fridge. One look at all the cheese and he had a great idea. His RoboMouse needed a brain made of cheese! But what KIND of cheese? Should it be Mouserella? or Gogonzola? or maybe Meunster? Then he saw it! It was perfect. He pulled out the Swiss cheese and loaded red Christmas lights in all the little holes. It made the perfect RoboMouse brain.

It was pretty hard to put the lights in the cheese without eating the cheese, but after he got the brain done he started stringing together all the soda cans he found to arrange them into some arms and legs. But now the problem was how to attach the arms and legs to make it look like a robot. He asked Dude for some help with that.

Dude scratched his head and thought for a minute. "Oh wait, I have an idea. Let's go down to the basement and get that..."

Big ravioli can that I saved for a yet-to-be-decided purpose. That can be the body to attatch everything else to."

"Ok," said Zorro, "but how do we attach them on?"

"We just make little holes in each piece and string them together with elastic. Easy as pie!"

That made Zorro feel hungry, so he suggested that they have a snack first. But the Dude said …

"Seriously, Zorro, is that all you ever think about?"

Zorro did not even answer as he was so used to being asked this question, that everyone already knew the answer to! And Zorro was already thinking about a nice Italian lemon ricotta cheese pie that he spied on his earlier trip to the refrigerator.

The Dude on the other hand set about connecting the many cans and lights and strings and cheese and realized he could use some of those soldered pans Zorro had been working on. The Dude realized he would have to fix some of Zorro's rudimentary work, so he quickly grabbed some solder, blow torch, goggles, gloves and really got into building the robot!

When Zorro finished his snack, he returned to the basement. "Holy crap," he said to himself, "what is going on?!" He saw sparks and flames and heard banging and clanging.

The Dude was all elbows and hair as he cut and soldered and created. "Ha ha ha," he cried, "I'm the best creator. No one can…"

Just then, there was a HUGE bright light and a BANG! The Dude jumped back, tripped over some wires and fell on his behind. "Holy Moley," he said, "what was that?!"

"What was WHAT?" they heard a voice say.

The Dude looked at Zorro. Zorro looked at the Dude. "Who said that?" they said together.

"I said that," the voice said.

They both looked at the RoboMouse. "Yes, it was me," he said.

Zorro and the Dude screamed like little girls and then …

… "Oh my, it's alive, it's alive!!!!!! Dude and Zorro froze in their shoes and waited to see what the robomouse was going to do next. They looked at each other with eyes wide open, mouths wide open and whispered, "Did you put a battery in?"

"No. No, did YOU put a battery in?"

"Well, somebody put a battery in. Maybe Mary snuck in and is trying to scare us to death. Na, she wouldn't do that."

"Did I hear someone mention my name?" came a very innocent voice from the doorway.

"Uh," said the Dude, "how long have you been standing there, Mary?"

"Why, I just got here," replied Mary, in an even more innocent voice. "What are you boys up to out here?"

"Well, we… … …," began Vaca and Zorro in unison. Vaca continued, "We're just working on a little robotics project."

"Ah, I see," said Mary. "And how's it going? I have supper ready, but I wouldn't want to interrupt your project."

Zorro and the the Dude were both very hungry, but they hated leave their project before they figured out what was going on. What a dilemma! Just then the robot sat up and ...

said, "Hello, pretty lady!!!"

Mary looked at the RoboMouse and then at the Dude and Zorro. "John," she said, "you're getting pretty good with that puppetry and ventriloquism. I didn't even notice your lips move that time."

She turned to leave and said, "Come to dinner soon before it gets cold."

Zorro and the Dude were in a quandary. They wanted dinner but they couldn't just leave the RoboMouse like this.

The Dude decided to try something. He snuck up behind the RoboMouse and gently reached into his back and pulled a couple of wires apart. The RoboMouse's head fell forward. Then it popped right back up again and he said, "Gotcha!!! Did you really think that pulling wires was gonna shut me down? Dude, I'm organic, not mechanical! My name is Gordon and I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."

The Dude jumped back. "Holey Moley," he said again. "It really IS alive!!! Gordon's alive!"

Zorro thought for a minute and then he had an idea. "Organic, huh?" So you need food to function?"

"Yes," said Gordon, "primarily protein made from bovine mammary secretions. Do you have any more? I'm about out."

"That's what I thought," said Zorro. "Dude! Lock the refrigerator. He wants my cheese! … … … WAIT!! Give me a key!!!"

As they watched, the hunk of Swiss Cheese in Gordon's brain cavity grew smaller and smaller and the red lights in his eyes grew dimmer and dimmer. Soon, he was silent and still.

"Dude!" said Zorro! "We are so gonna rock this neighborhood on Halloween! You need to start stocking up on cheese for that night! What I don't eat, we'll let Gordon have and he can help us scare the kiddies!"

The End